Cancer at it’s finest & and update on my life.. September 12th,2020

Well, this isn’t the most positive post so you might want to stop reading if you’re expecting my normal bright positive posts. But this is real life and it’s not all positive.

Donation Page

I’m also still struggling with money if you would like to donate to my fundraiser I’d greatly appreciate it, my link is:

Update on symptoms..

So my body is really taking a toll on this chemo. I’ve felt horrible. My cold sweats, then hot flashes are daily and so frustrating. I feel disgusting constantly. It makes me just feel weak every time. Some last 30 seconds, some last hours and I can’t get my body under control. It’s horrible. Then not having feeling in my hands (mostly just fingertips) but is something I can’t stand. I hate it. It’s weird to do anything that requires my hands. My feet do the same thing just not as bad. Then I get these sharp and I mean sharp Charlie horse pains in my calf in the middle of the night or if I move a certain way. Then all I can do it massage it out until it feels better. My head is another story. It just feels raw. It’s sore. And it hurts to the touch. Why? I don’t get it. Like wearing these wigs is me powering through the pain. I hate it. My feet go numb making even my walking different. My whole body is changing and I really don’t like what it’s doing to me. I’m losing hope. I’m not ready to complete the next round of chemo. I’m sick of being exhausted. It doesn’t help that rite aid has been out of my pain medication for over a WEEK. And I’ve been waiting for my refill. It’s been hard without it. I could cry. Like rite aid has been screwing with my medications. Like you are a pharmacy this is what you do. They got my script September 2nd. And I still haven’t received the medication because they are “out” . At this point I don’t know what to do about it either. And on top of all of these symptoms I got SICK. I don’t know if it’s allergies or what but man I have been on my death bed it feels like my nose won’t stop running. My cough sounds horrible. And I just really couldn’t get off the couch the past few days. Today I’m starting to feel better thanks to the zpack my dr prescribed. Thank God. He won’t let me begin my next treatment if I’m sick. So it’s pushing time close. I was supposed to be going in on Monday now its pushed to Tuesday since that’s when my zpack runs out.

But on some not so depressing news I’ve had some good moments since my last post! So not all bad.

My birthday was nice, very laid back since I was not feeling good at all. I spent most the day at home. But my friends visited and I had a great day with Gavin and Noah β™‘ So now I’m 23! Yay. Even though nobody likes you when you’re 23 πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ

I got to go up north with my grandma and uncle Jay and Noah! We had fun riding the fourwheeler and we went down to the river for rock hunting! I got some cool ones. Even though I’m sure its the reason I’m sick cause the water was ice cold.

Then I’ve gotten to use my camera a lot lately, I’ve gotten to go to the parks with Noah, his cousins and Devyn (Gavins sister, Noahs Aunt). I got to go out to the bar with my girls! Which is always needed. I’ve also got to make some beautiful paintings with one of my girls Jazmin! She’s my painting buddy I swear we make amazing paintings after. Then went on a mini shopping spree with the other Courtney! Oh and a few PokΓ©mon go trips in there too of course. Lots of time with Gavin and Noah β™‘

So besides the fact that my body feels like it’s giving up I’ve got a lot of fight in me. Just lately been so depressed that I’ve got cancer. I don’t know if it’s just setting in now, or that it’s real. But I have cancer and my body is definitely showing me that.

As for vlogging I’m going to start doing! Some ideas are my everyday routines, makeup videos, painting videos, some inspiration videos about how I’m getting through this. Cancer hacks on how to to g

Photo’s from recently

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