February 19th, 2021 Hospital & Life Update #2

So day 3 at the hospital and now they are saying it is not pneumonia since I haven’t had any fevers or any other symptoms. They do believe I pulled a couple muscles in my chest since I am still having trouble breathing. Then the fluid in my lungs is such a small amount that they agreed it’s safe and that I will be okay. As for the pain I’m still having is ridiculous but hey it’s not as bad as when I got in here. They are thinking maybe tomorrrow I will get to go home. I am really hoping to cause sitting here in the hospital all day is so boring. Since I was diagnosed I have spent a total of about 35 days total here at Hurley. So thats over a month of my life wasted in the hospital this past 6 months. I’m so over the hospital. Literally growing up this was always the place I hated to be most. But now, I’m just over it. But at least on the bright side of things I am doing better than I was sitting at home. So I’m getting the help that I need.

As for the cancer side of things I still haven’t recovered as much as I would have liked to be by now. I was hoping for a lot faster recovering, but this hospital visit was a definite set back. I was having some good days. I was able to move more, I had set a personal goal to walk at least 2000 steps a day ( I know thats not a lot, but it is for me by a lot), and one week almost every day I had met my goal. but this last week I haven’t. But I’m trying the hardest I can to overcome this. I know I am stronger than the poison they gave me. Also right now I am in partial remission, meaning that my last petscan was almost enough to say my cancer is gone, but not quite yet. So April is when the next scan is; and that will be the scan that determines if I am in remission or if I am doing radiation. I am really hoping not to do radiation, but there is no reason to stress about it until it’s actually happening. So I’m starting to be more positive about everything.

Life can get you down sometimes, but that’s when you have to find that hidden strength you carry and roll with the punches. Yeah life could be better, but life could be a lot worst. So with that being said, I’m just happy to be alive. I’m happy I have an amazing little boy who’s at home waiting for me. I’m happy I have a huge support system and they are always there when I need them. When people say “It takes a village” They weren’t kidding. Yeah my body may need much more time to heal, but if I continue to make goals and work towards them, I’ll get somewhere. One thing cancer taught me is patience and the want to persevere. But I won’t lie to you, some days I feel the complete opposite of this. But in reality, I’m not giving up any time soon. I got a life to build and a little boy to raise. I see why cancer patients refer to themselves as survivors, I never got that until I myself became a survivor. This shit ain’t easy, and it’s a long rocky road with tons of bumps along the way. But hey, I’m still here to write my blog πŸ™‚

With all that being said, thank you for reading. I’m going to try and get some rest and hope on going home tomorrow! Have a great night everyone ❀

Random boredom at the hospital drawing
Little coloring I did on my tablet.

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