I’ll call this the transitioning phase 12.21.21

Well, I’m back to myself just about all the way. And I say that with pride and confidence. I’ve had a fucking crazy few months but I’m here for the ride I guess. I’ll list a few things that’s happened, lost a close friend, got off all serious medications I needed to all on my own, moved on my own again, stepped up my relationship with my sons father, lost family, struggle with relationships with certain family members, working through therapy, got a bunny, have a home and a family, have hair again, make amends with others, had fun with my bestie, saw more of my family, genuinely trying to live my best life. I saw what I wanted and I did what I needed to, and here I am just fine. I made it through every bad day I’ve ever had. After all that being said, I finally feel like it’s my time. I even got to go to my favorite artist NF’s concert’s. That concert brough something back in me that was lost for quite some time. My flame was relit. My spark had returned. Hearing NF say out loud over the mic to whole crowd, a sign that someone just like me was out there, they held up a sign that they beat cancer to be at that concert. And he read it and acknowledge it. That moment replays over and over again in my head. It was powerful for me. Because just like that person, I had also beat cancer to be there. Standing, screaming my heart and soul out to the music that kept me living. It’s my time to be me and be happy. I will spend every day with my son laughing and playing. This is why I’m here. The people I have in my life I’m forever grateful for. They are my people. Even the distant ones, I still love you. Everyone who’s crossed my path was for a reason. I’ve come to learn that. And everyone who left was also for a reason. I have a bright future ahead of me, hopefully cancer free. But I have a life to live and a reason to be. It took me 24 years to come to this conclusion but hey, it’s apart of growing as a person right? I try not to think about the what ifs anymore because if that’s all I do then I’ll never enjoy life. And I’m so ready to enjoy life. I have been enjoying life lately. I like my new normal. I love the feeling of being independent again, not having to rely on anyone other than myself. But I know who to call when I need to. ♥️ I’m going to just be happy with what I have. I made it to Christmas cancer free. Isn’t that just something? Thats a gift itself. The greatest one. I am so blessed honestly. Being a mom is what’s held me on this entire time. His smile. His goofy laugh. The way he says turtle. The way he runs to me when he’s hurt or in trouble. The late night cuddles. That’s everything, and on my SOUL I will do everything to give my child his best life. No scary stuff. No trauma. Just love and more love. That’s why I’m here. So I guess that’s my thoughts today, Merry Christmas 🎅 🎄 I’ll be spending it with my family. Happy. Smiling. I’ll be back soon. Xoxo oh &

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