Finding The Silver Lining 2.16.22

A silver lining is a sign of hope or a positive aspect in an otherwise negative situation.

The time has finally come, well the last few months have been absolutely amazing compared to the last year that I’ve had. I used to use this blog as a way to talk about cancer and the shit I was going through during it, I honestly wasn’t expecting an afterlife. I don’t even know what to blog about anymore, but I’m still paying for my site, I might as well use it. Here I am, happy. I’m very content with how my life is going if I’m honest. I have overcame so many obstacles that have found their way into my life, but yet here I am finding the silver lining. Everything that I have experienced in life, has taught me something. The people who have come into my life, had reason. I’m no longer angry, I’m at peace with what I’ve made of my life so far. I’m actually very fucking proud of myself, and I say that with the most confidence. Since my last blog, which was very abrupt I’d say, but truth; I’ve done a lot in just a short amount of time. I’m mentally in a better head space than I have been since July 2020. I could probably say that doing therapy during this time has greatly helped me. It’s given me a chance to just say as I please without any judgement, just kindness in response. I’m very happy for the life that I get to have now, the family I have, the people who I know are there. I’m in school going for my associates in science now, which is something I’ve always wanted to do. So getting to follow your dreams is exciting, even if that means hours spent doing homework. I’d take that any day. I’m not quite sure what pathway I’m going to take with my degree yet, I might even work towards a bachelors. I know I’ll do something I’m passionate about. That’s just who I am as a person. I’ve got quite a lot of ideas on where I want to go career wise, but right now my main focus is school. I forgot how exhausting that can be, but at the same time it’s so exciting to learn more. I love expanding my mind to new ideas. Also getting to be a stay at home mom is probably the best thing going for me. Watching my son grow up and do new stuff is seriously so fulfilling. Giving my son a home and mama and dada everyday is something that genuinely makes me so happy. The love we all share is limitless. As a child I promised myself that if I ever became a mom, that I wanted a family. And that’s exactly what we have. It’s honestly beautiful watching everything fall into place for once. Yeah everyday isn’t going to be perfect, but that’s what makes the good days even better. But through all the everyday stress at the end of the day, I’m still happy. Recently we went on a little vacation as a family and it was seriously so much fun. Taking my son through the waterpark and the pools was one of the best times. Especially because it was his first real vacation in a hotel. He was all smiles the entire time. It just makes me so much more excited for what our future holds. Our options are endless for what we can do or where we can go. As a person who loves to travel, I’m thrilled for what we are going to do next. We’ve gone to the circus, went to the trampoline park, went mini golfing, went ice skating, got a cartoon drawing of him, played in the arcade, like there is so many experiences that I’m so happy to share with my son. I’m so thrilled for warmer weather, we are going to be very busy exploring! I’ve also purchased tickets to one of my favorite bands and I can’t wait for that. This year is going to be a better year, a happier year, I can feel it. I’m finding myself rerouting my brain to think positive again, I’ve gained some hope back into my life. Which I really hope doesn’t bite me in the ass as I’m pending my pet scan results. I hope this is how my life stays, I like where I’m at. But no matter what the results say, I know to myself that there’s no way in hell that I’d feel this good. I had a feeling something was wrong back before my diagnosis, and now I no longer have that feeling. It’s time to live, and just be thankful. So if you’re reading this, I hope you gain some of the positive energy. Find the silver linings. Enjoy the little things. Smile more, ignite your passions. Life can be shitty, but usually (at least in my case) it does get better. It always gets better. But sometimes you have to be the one to decide that for yourself. Remove the toxicity out of your life. Change your environment. It’s never a wrong time to better yourself. It all starts with you. I hope my life can inspire you in some sort of way. So with all that being said, if anyone is even reading, life gets better. It may not be your day, your week or your year, but your time is coming. Thanks for reading ❀

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